5 Steps to Uncovering and Embodying Your Authentic Self
The only way you will ever get close to being liked by everyone is if you are not authentic to yourself.
And still…someone will have an issue which may then lead us to be resentful.
A hard truth to accept: If we are living authentically, we won’t be liked by everyone…and that’s okay.
I know…I know… ⬇️
You want to be liked by everyone. You need to be liked by everyone…
But why? At what cost?
Most likely, at one point in your life, it was safer to please others…to do what others wanted…to keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself…stay small…out of the spotlight. To fawn and people please -common trauma responses.
Because maybe when you tried to be vulnerable, be playful, or share your truth and emotions…you were shutdown by people who meant a lot to you.
I’m sorry this happened, and it formed a core wound: a need to belong…a fear of being different…not feeling accepted and loved.
Because of this, it is now harder to be authentically yourself, and we (consciously or unconsciously) continue to play small in order to get others’ approval and stay safe.
I know it’s scary, but it’s time to spread your wings, speak your voice, and live your truth! Tell your inner child you will be there for them now. Because we don’t want to look back on life and realize we never lived a life that was “ours.”
What do you want to stand for? What are your core values and beliefs? Who are you…really?
Those who matter won’t mind. Those who matter will accept you and love you.
You might even come to find that the more you let your authentic self shine, the quicker your real tribe grows đź‘Ź
Your authentic self is waiting for you to uncover them and let them shine ✨
How do I begin this?
Start by figuring out your core values (How do I do that? Ask yourself: what is important to you…what do you want to stand for…what gets you upset-ex.lying = trust is important to you- …what gets you excited? Check out this list of values by Brene Brown for some inspo)
Figure out where you need healthier boundaries in life (Here is the psychoed sheet I often share with clients on learning about boundaries)
Start trusting your intuition…about people, places, decisions, jobs, etc (Intuition is usually a calm knowing…anxiety is loud and nagging and often comes up when things aren’t going great)
Let go of what you know is not aligned with you (Start saying no when needed, lay your boundaries, inventory what responsibilities are on your plate, change jobs/settings if needed, take note of what/who is draining your energy and decide if you need to distance yourself)
Allow yourself to connect with your inner child, practice self compassion, be a newbie, fall down, try new things, meet new people and/or spend time alone, speak your needs, state + embody your boundaries, look silly etc even if it causes you some anxiety. Most things are scary at first! (And might be for a little while…we are changing years of habits and patterns here so know it won’t necessarily be an overnight change)
At the core, authenticity is rooted in vulnerability…and healthy vulnerability often breeds connection and genuine joy. Getting clear on our values and boundaries, we can let the right people/experiences in. Letting the right people in to your truest nature and personal experience is daunting, but without vulnerability there is no genuine connection or understanding. To be seen, but to never really be seen…that’s devastating.
Change takes time and effort, but it is so worth it on the other end. Rooting for you guys!